they told me not to do it
and
i did it anyway

and
there it went
into my mouth

i tried to stop it
the ceaseless flow

tongue dancing
saliva churning

but

it had already bypassed all my anatomical control
and tapped somewhere deep 
way back
in there
behind the medulla
​
k+ ions synapsing
long after after those electrons unbalanced
disrupted
displaced
into that pre-space-time-event state
that theme
that plot
that schemata
expressed
in the most out of order ways
inappropriate
resounding
shock waves
charging along neurons
through this scrambled network
where it finally landed
in my mouth

 you are this ghost
​that haunts my life
not dead
i'll never meet you
i would not recognize you
if we passed on the street

you've seared my heart
my precious one
through him
me
and
my babies
i feel all that you gave
your fetish
your anger
your ideas
often pondered
what drives
what needs
compels
beyond my perception
knowledge
imagination
these broken threads
weave into the lives of so so many
endlessly haunting
through words
through touch
through fears, lust, anxiety
haunting
through generations
haunting
forgotten
hidden
still haunting

i am queen of the dirty laundry
but cooking, washing dishes
  and scrubbing toilet bowls are also in my realm

no king decides to join me here
no man at any helm
  of my fleet that sails through sudsy water
  while never leaving home

Shout out to Mother Shipton - 1448 

earth
  well-trained
  into symmetrical blocks
       of man's architectural imagination
       perfectly
       esthetically placed

people
scurry
  in and out
  round and about
  like ants

at the bottom
  we found
   some green
      hidden amongst the building ruins
forgotten
run down
  on the edge
  in the middle
  it lies
       out of symmetry
continuous
broken
 shades of green and grey
  as the tiny squiggly bits of life
compete
in this smallest of spaces
​   we call home